Well Spring Break is slowly coming to an end this weekend :( I think it was a good break though. Mrs. K and I were able to head back to Atlanta and see family and friends for a few days even though our primary reason for being there was for her great aunt's funeral. But since we got back to Nashville Wednesday morning, I've felt like the days have slipped by. Although, I've been enjoying my time off not doing anything work-related. I've been reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire which was next in line since I started reading the series over Thanksgiving break. I just need to finish it now so I can start getting some work done! I'd like to be somewhat productive before school starts back so this next week can be a little more bearable. If I can get ahead by planning a few lessons and getting some grading done, then it'll be a little easier to get out of bed Monday morning.
I was having a rough couple of weeks around the time of my last post, but I'd like to share an encouraging moment that helped lift my spirits and get me to spring break. On March 3, the freshman academy of our high school held a parent meeting to inform parents about things they need to know as well as show and tell a little about what has been going on in their kids' classrooms. So we had a student of ours stand up and talk to all the parents about what he's been learning and doing in his classes. When he finished speaking about my class (his Biology class) I was very impressed with the amount he learned in our previous unit on genetics. He went on and on about the projects we did, and what he learned from them (more than he talked about his other classes, but I shouldn't compare). The other teachers and people who were there were also impressed with his description of my class, and I got a lot of positive feedback from other teachers afterwards. That along with some other blessings God placed in my way helped me see some of the fruits of my labor.
As I approach the last 9 weeks of my first year of teaching (which feels like less with the oh so definitive EOC only 7 weeks away) I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my experience. I guess my reflection is also partly due to the personal statement I need to write for my med school applications. I've been thinking about the reasons I joined TFA, and I realized when I was revisiting college friends that I don't think I message those reasons very well. Instead, most people hear the extremely tough time I'm having and figure my life just sucks right now.
However, I've reminded myself that I chose this suffering. I wasn't totally clueless that this was going to be really hard (even though I think my training could have been a little more honest and less idealistic). And I'm not doing it for the pure social justice of it all. I do this because I'm called to love others, especially the poor and marginalized of our society, along with all other Christians. I believe that my life is not my own, and it brings me great joy to know that my suffering while I serve glorifies God. He has really worked on my heart this year to realize this great joy, and to be satisfied with only serving Him. I feel like this experience has and will be necessary for me to approach my medical career in the same light.
Now is my call to love others in my profession specifically in teaching? I don't think it really matters. But in my opinion, I still feel like my skills and knowledge are best applied in a medical profession. I am very frustrated with the current state of education, and I'm working in a broken system. I'm also frustrated with my seeming lack of ability to make lessons fun and exciting because science is just interesting and exciting to me without any extra bells and whistles. I'm not saying that I won't be frustrated with the broken healthcare system, but which one will I be able to live and work within the best?
Don't get me wrong. I believe in the Teach for America movement. I have been convinced according to the data I've seen that the teacher in front of the classroom is the single most determining factor in a child's education. More determining than the school and the district. So by putting great teachers in poorly achieving schools, this is where the most impact can be made on individual students and on closing the achievement gap. The hope is to one day, have enough of these great teachers to make more great schools because success rate flies through the roof once you have great teachers in great schools. And ultimately, education is the best way to break the cycle of poverty in many of these communities.
The reason I don't think I want to stay teaching is that I don't think I can take the mental and psychological stress that it comes with. I don't find much passion on a daily basis to come up with ways to teach things in the best way for my students. My passion comes from a much deeper love for others and desire to follow God, but it is distant from teaching specifically. I hope that I can pair my passion to follow God with my passion for medicine and healing people to keep me going on a daily basis.
But most importantly, I am completely content with where I am now. My life is honestly very good right now even during school weeks. I have a wonderful wife, two pets, and I have a great church family in a wonderful city.
I'd like to post about discussions I've had recently on the balance or extent Christians should live in community with those in need to love them better while also loving and protecting your family. But I think this post is getting kind of long, so I'll save that for a later post (hopefully soon). I also need to get back and finish this Harry Potter book so I can move on with my life.
