I was just amazed about how much I've learned since joining TFA and working in Nashville. Not just teaching and education knowledge, but knowledge about our country's cultural and social history and the consequences of our past. Ever since desegregation the wealthier white families have moved out of the cities and into the suburbs. There's almost a constant exodus of wealthy white people as more immigrants or black people invade or "pollute" their spaces.
I'm sure I've learned this before, but until now it has not been so real. I haven't experienced first-hand the major consequences of this modern day segregation. What disturbs me the most is that the wealthier white suburbanites are stereotypically the most outspoken Christians. And it's SO un-christian-like to not care for the poor. There's this notion of the American Dream being a state that you can do whatever you want to become successful and just forget about everyone else. If anyone disrupts your way of life, then just avoid them. How can you live your life as if we're not all in this together? We have a responsibility to care for the poor and carry each other's burdens.
This is kind of funny coming from me considering my thoughts and sentiments this past month. I've had a total of 9 snow days so far, and except for yesterday my second semester back hasn't been any better than the last. I've even had a lot of thoughts like, "These kids aren't worth my time". I've been frustrated beyond belief with the amount of work I put in just to get it thrown back in my face with an "I don't give a f***!"
It's crazy how much I have to remind myself that their disrespect and utterly disgusting behavior is a product of their situations and environment. At this point in a kid's life, you have to be careful with how much you attribute their behavior to intentional thought and pure malice. In fact, today gives a pretty good example of the type of environment many of my students live in. Some girls were arrested on campus today right after school for fighting. We only found out later that the two girls that "ganged" this other girl were getting a ride back home from one of their moms when the mom turned her car around right outside the school just to escort the girls straight to their target. This parent is essentially on the level of her adolescent children. Can you imagine teenagers raising teenagers? That's these kids' lives.
So if you might not totally agree with what I wrote, take into account who this is coming from. If anyone has been disgusted or appalled by a group of people, I have. I think what's even more frustrating is how long it takes for change. It's very likely that any significant change in my students might not happen until years after I can influence them.
I had a good day today though. Two days ago I was up late and loosing sleep revamping and preparing for the next day's lessons. I had just had an observation meeting with my program director and we came up with a plan to improve my lesson planning and to focus on better student practice. So I was pretty excited about this meiosis modeling activity I got together for my biology class (after shopping for pipe cleaners and cutting up straws), and we were going to demonstrate electric shielding with our cell phones in my conceptual physics class.
Well nothing I could do the following day was going to get my kids to even pay attention. My honors biology students like to laugh at the fact I try to teach them like I do. And my conceptual physics students harbor resentment toward me because most of them say it's too boring. But I have a pretty good guy to talk to that teaches next to my room that I was able to vent to after school, and I was able to let it go. The next day (today) with my B day conceptual physics students went really well, especially compared to yesterday. I was able to get through everything I planned, and I think my students enjoyed it. And I was able to assess each class for what they learned that day. That was one of the improvements I decided to make.
God grant me
The courage to change the things I can
The serenity to accept the things I can't
And the wisdom to discern the difference
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Who needs sleep???
I had a frightening encounter last week when I said to a few random students in the hall: "Yes we was". This was in response to them asking if the other teachers and I were having a meeting. I think this is a sign that I'm regressing. I hope I'm not catching any more bad habits.
Last week was kind of uneventful since we had to make up semester exams because of the snow days before the break. Last Friday was the first official day of the second semester. However, unfortunately for me, it was an A day following A day exams. My plan for the first two days of the 2nd semester was to focus on investment by looking at student data from last semester and reflecting on where we want to go and how to get there. The problem was getting the data all organized the night before right after the tests were given.
So long story short, I ended up spending from about 7pm-4am copying and pasting and reformatting from my excel tracker to a word document that had individual data summaries for all 130 of my students broken down by standard and unit. It was very frustrating at the time not being able to figure out a more efficient method of accomplishing this task and knowing at 1am that it was going to take me the rest of the night to finish.
I laid down at about 4am and kind of went back and forth between awake and crazy hyper dream state (which I'm not sure was better than awake) until 5:15am when I had to get ready for school. I made sure to get a cup of coffee on my way to school, but I think I was in a semi-drunken state for the rest of the day. But having classes and 20+ kids in your classroom has a way of keeping you alert and on it.
I have to say in the end it was worth it because I thought the lesson went pretty successfully. My students and I had a lot of issues to address involving their perception of my class and their behavior/performance, and also some things that I need to change and do differently to better meet them where they are. We had a very open discussion about ways they think I can improve (some constructive and reasonable, others not so much), and I think they seriously reflected on how they really didn't want the class to continue like it has. I think I got them to see how they can change the classroom culture starting our next class period.
We'll see. I need to stay consistent and be persistent.But that was a pretty awful night before Friday. Well now I'm caught up on sleep and I need to get my lesson plans together. Here's hoping for another snow day this week *fingers crossed*!
Last week was kind of uneventful since we had to make up semester exams because of the snow days before the break. Last Friday was the first official day of the second semester. However, unfortunately for me, it was an A day following A day exams. My plan for the first two days of the 2nd semester was to focus on investment by looking at student data from last semester and reflecting on where we want to go and how to get there. The problem was getting the data all organized the night before right after the tests were given.
So long story short, I ended up spending from about 7pm-4am copying and pasting and reformatting from my excel tracker to a word document that had individual data summaries for all 130 of my students broken down by standard and unit. It was very frustrating at the time not being able to figure out a more efficient method of accomplishing this task and knowing at 1am that it was going to take me the rest of the night to finish.
I laid down at about 4am and kind of went back and forth between awake and crazy hyper dream state (which I'm not sure was better than awake) until 5:15am when I had to get ready for school. I made sure to get a cup of coffee on my way to school, but I think I was in a semi-drunken state for the rest of the day. But having classes and 20+ kids in your classroom has a way of keeping you alert and on it.
I have to say in the end it was worth it because I thought the lesson went pretty successfully. My students and I had a lot of issues to address involving their perception of my class and their behavior/performance, and also some things that I need to change and do differently to better meet them where they are. We had a very open discussion about ways they think I can improve (some constructive and reasonable, others not so much), and I think they seriously reflected on how they really didn't want the class to continue like it has. I think I got them to see how they can change the classroom culture starting our next class period.
We'll see. I need to stay consistent and be persistent.But that was a pretty awful night before Friday. Well now I'm caught up on sleep and I need to get my lesson plans together. Here's hoping for another snow day this week *fingers crossed*!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Back to School Part 2
I don't think I want to bog you down with some of the grief and anxiety I've felt lately about enduring another semester... so I won't.
I had a great winter break being able to sit around, play video games, watch football, spend a week with family, and the wife and I even got to start a workout routine over the past 2 weeks (hopefully it'll hold up once work starts back). I was also able to make all my unit plans for biology and conceptual physics for the spring. I wish I worked a little more on making lesson plans for the first couple weeks though to get ahead. Although, this first week is going to be a little off since we had those snow days. Half of my classes will be taking last semester's mid-term, and I'm planning on taking a couple days to create some fresh investment for my class and our goals.
Tomorrow is a professional development day for teachers, which pretty much means I won't be able to do any work in my classroom to get ready for classes tomorrow because I'll be in faculty meetings. But since I don't have any lessons to run tomorrow, I'm enjoying tonight watching some football.
I watched an interesting video I found on TED about changing education paradigms and then I watched another talk by the same guy on the sidebar about the impact our current education system is having on our lives. I encourage you to listen to these. In the second video, the speaker, Ken Robinson, talks about how most people are unhappy with their jobs because it's not what excites them or fuels their passion. I resonated with that, and it kind of made me feel better about my near resentment of my job.
I guess I knew when I accepted and started the job that teaching wasn't my true passion. It's always been medicine or science. I think I've struggled with using that fact as an excuse for not doing as well as I want or not working harder (if that's possible). But I think the fact that teaching is not my true passion contributes to the disenchantment with my work. It's difficult for me to balance that out with enough drive from my belief in the cause and the importance of my work for my students.
Sometimes it makes it easier on me and reduces my stress level to down play the importance of what's at stake, which I realize could be a bad thing if it led me to not care or to put less effort into the job. But I think it makes me put less mental effort on thinking about how much this matters and more on actually doing things. It might seem backwards, but I tell myself things like, "Who cares if I suck?" or "Who cares if I'm so bad they have to fire me?" It sounds outrageously careless, but it helps me do my job by taking the focus off of doing something that matches my theoretical idea of what it should be to actually getting something that works so I can sleep and be alive the next day.
Back to that video I mentioned before about people disliking their jobs, though, I applied for and took this job because I knew there was a need. Not primarily because I had a passion to teach. However, a part of me wants to teach. I've realized more and more that this is one of the greatest if not THE greatest service the world needs right now. I think another thing people should consider when following their passion is how their passion can best serve others. But I know now for me, that teaching is more of a service for me. I hate to say that I'm sticking it out until my commitment is up, but I kind of am. And hopefully on the way I'll be able to get some kids on track to a better future and maybe change some kids' lives.
I just better make sure I get started on my med school essays soon so I can get some big wigs at Vanderbilt to look over them and ensure my entry. I think it would be great to be a doctor and teach younger kids every now and then. Maybe I can work that out later down the road.
In other news, I'm very excited on the football front since my Chicago Bears are the No. 2 seed in the NFC playoffs with a 1st round bye. Plus, Ohio State (my favorite college team) is playing Arkansas this week which promises to be a great game. And hopefully Ohio State can help redeem the pitiful showing by the Big Ten in this year's bowl games.
I had a great winter break being able to sit around, play video games, watch football, spend a week with family, and the wife and I even got to start a workout routine over the past 2 weeks (hopefully it'll hold up once work starts back). I was also able to make all my unit plans for biology and conceptual physics for the spring. I wish I worked a little more on making lesson plans for the first couple weeks though to get ahead. Although, this first week is going to be a little off since we had those snow days. Half of my classes will be taking last semester's mid-term, and I'm planning on taking a couple days to create some fresh investment for my class and our goals.
Tomorrow is a professional development day for teachers, which pretty much means I won't be able to do any work in my classroom to get ready for classes tomorrow because I'll be in faculty meetings. But since I don't have any lessons to run tomorrow, I'm enjoying tonight watching some football.
I watched an interesting video I found on TED about changing education paradigms and then I watched another talk by the same guy on the sidebar about the impact our current education system is having on our lives. I encourage you to listen to these. In the second video, the speaker, Ken Robinson, talks about how most people are unhappy with their jobs because it's not what excites them or fuels their passion. I resonated with that, and it kind of made me feel better about my near resentment of my job.
I guess I knew when I accepted and started the job that teaching wasn't my true passion. It's always been medicine or science. I think I've struggled with using that fact as an excuse for not doing as well as I want or not working harder (if that's possible). But I think the fact that teaching is not my true passion contributes to the disenchantment with my work. It's difficult for me to balance that out with enough drive from my belief in the cause and the importance of my work for my students.
Sometimes it makes it easier on me and reduces my stress level to down play the importance of what's at stake, which I realize could be a bad thing if it led me to not care or to put less effort into the job. But I think it makes me put less mental effort on thinking about how much this matters and more on actually doing things. It might seem backwards, but I tell myself things like, "Who cares if I suck?" or "Who cares if I'm so bad they have to fire me?" It sounds outrageously careless, but it helps me do my job by taking the focus off of doing something that matches my theoretical idea of what it should be to actually getting something that works so I can sleep and be alive the next day.
Back to that video I mentioned before about people disliking their jobs, though, I applied for and took this job because I knew there was a need. Not primarily because I had a passion to teach. However, a part of me wants to teach. I've realized more and more that this is one of the greatest if not THE greatest service the world needs right now. I think another thing people should consider when following their passion is how their passion can best serve others. But I know now for me, that teaching is more of a service for me. I hate to say that I'm sticking it out until my commitment is up, but I kind of am. And hopefully on the way I'll be able to get some kids on track to a better future and maybe change some kids' lives.
I just better make sure I get started on my med school essays soon so I can get some big wigs at Vanderbilt to look over them and ensure my entry. I think it would be great to be a doctor and teach younger kids every now and then. Maybe I can work that out later down the road.
In other news, I'm very excited on the football front since my Chicago Bears are the No. 2 seed in the NFC playoffs with a 1st round bye. Plus, Ohio State (my favorite college team) is playing Arkansas this week which promises to be a great game. And hopefully Ohio State can help redeem the pitiful showing by the Big Ten in this year's bowl games.
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