Our Time

I was just amazed about how much I've learned since joining TFA and working in Nashville. Not just teaching and education knowledge, but knowledge about our country's cultural and social history and the consequences of our past. Ever since desegregation the wealthier white families have moved out of the cities and into the suburbs. There's almost a constant exodus of wealthy white people as more immigrants or black people invade or "pollute" their spaces.

I'm sure I've learned this before, but until now it has not been so real. I haven't experienced first-hand the major consequences of this modern day segregation. What disturbs me the most is that the wealthier white suburbanites  are stereotypically the most outspoken Christians. And it's SO un-christian-like to not care for the poor. There's this notion of the American Dream being a state that you can do whatever you want to become successful and just forget about everyone else. If anyone disrupts your way of life, then just avoid them. How can you live your life as if we're not all in this together? We have a responsibility to care for the poor and carry each other's burdens.

This is kind of funny coming from me considering my thoughts and sentiments this past month. I've had a total of 9 snow days so far, and except for yesterday my second semester back hasn't been any better than the last. I've even had a lot of thoughts like, "These kids aren't worth my time". I've been frustrated beyond belief with the amount of work I put in just to get it thrown back in my face with an "I don't give a f***!"

It's crazy how much I have to remind myself that their disrespect and utterly disgusting behavior  is a product of their situations and environment. At this point in a kid's life, you have to be careful with how much you attribute their behavior to intentional thought and pure malice. In fact, today gives a pretty good example of the type of environment many of my students live in. Some girls were arrested on campus today right after school for fighting. We only found out later that the two girls that "ganged" this other girl were getting a ride back home from one of their moms when the mom turned her car around right outside the school just to escort the girls straight to their target. This parent is essentially on the level of her adolescent children. Can you imagine teenagers raising teenagers? That's these kids' lives.

So if you might not totally agree with what I wrote, take into account who this is coming from. If anyone has been disgusted or appalled by a group of people, I have. I think what's even more frustrating is how long it takes for change. It's very likely that any significant change in my students might not happen until years after I can influence them.

I had a good day today though. Two days ago I was up late and loosing sleep revamping and preparing for the next day's lessons. I had just had an observation meeting with my program director and we came up with a plan to improve my lesson planning and to focus on better student practice. So I was pretty excited about this meiosis modeling activity I got together for my biology class (after shopping for pipe cleaners and cutting up straws), and we were going to demonstrate electric shielding with our cell phones in my conceptual physics class.

Well nothing I could do the following day was going to get my kids to even pay attention. My honors biology students like to laugh at the fact I try to teach them like I do. And my conceptual physics students harbor resentment toward me because most of them say it's too boring. But I have a pretty good guy to talk to that teaches next to my room that I was able to vent to after school, and I was able to let it go. The next day (today) with my B day conceptual physics students went really well, especially compared to yesterday. I was able to get through everything I planned, and I think my students enjoyed it. And I was able to assess each class for what they learned that day. That was one of the improvements I decided to make.

God grant me
The courage to change the things I can
The serenity to accept the things I can't
And the wisdom to discern the difference