Saturday, October 16, 2010

...I will give you rest

*sigh of relief*. Fall break for MNPS has finally arrived. It has been 9 amazingly life-changing, super-long weeks, and now I have an entire week to relax, reflect, and plan ahead (pretty much in that order). We had a work day yesterday which meant that there were no students and I didn't have to be there until 8am. So my break kind of started yesterday.

Well it's been 3 weeks since I last posted, and I would have to say that those weeks have been my toughest to get through. It's hard to think back and remember how I was feeling over that 3 weeks because there are new struggles every day, and my emotions have changed so many times. You're kind of forced to brush off everything from the day before so you can have the strength to take on the next day. A huge part of my struggles these past weeks have been a lack of solid planning for my lessons. The past three weekends I've tried to sit down on the weekend to plan the week's lessons, but I've struggled mustering enough motivation to do it when I just want to relax. So this forces me to be very last-minute, and I'm staying up way too late finishing a powerpoint or I'm scurrying around a drug store an hour before my class starts trying to find glucose test strips for a lab I want to do. All that just adds stress on top of everything else. So either staying up too late and losing sleep or frantically trying to get things together before class in the morning has been the story for the past 3 weeks. Miraculously, I've managed to figure something out each day even if I end up buying the wrong glucose test strips that cost $50 (out of my own pocket) so we just walk through the lab without actually doing it and I tell them what they should have seen. My lessons definitely haven't been ideal, and I've had a couple days where I just taught them how to outline a chapter from the book. This is actually something my assistant principal said she wanted me to do, but it's definitely not what is best for the students in my opinion. I resorted to the outline because I didn't have the materials for what I wanted to do.

Last weekend was actually a little better because I was able to plan for three of the four days we had that week. It wouldn't be as difficult if I only taught one subject, but I have to make twice as many lesson plans for biology and conceptual physics. It's not uncommon for teachers to teach more than one subject though. I was able to get all the materials I needed for this project I wanted to do where my students built an insulator, and the insulator that melted the ice the slowest won. I also made their test, and I got all the worksheets and guided notes together for my biology classes. The last day (Thursday) before fall break was pretty easy because report cards are coming out soon, so a lot of kids are concerned about their grades. So I gave some time for my students to see any assignments they're missing and turn in make-up work.

A week ago I was observed by my program director (PD) for TFA, and the day after I was videotaped to help figure out how I can improve my management skills. My PD observed me during that day we were making an outline from the book. I let her know my planning struggles, and it wasn't too bad. I don't think she thinks I suck too much. I met with her a few days ago to reflect where I'm at and what next steps I should take, and I think we came up with a good plan for what I should do over the break. My goals for the next two weeks are to have a better schedule where I can workout at least 3 times a week, help out with the school bowling team twice a week, and schedule specific tutoring time twice a week right after school. Once I have a better idea of what I'm supposed to teach in my conceptual physics class, I will hopefully be able to plan over the weekend. And I'm working on collaborating with some other people I've found that teach conceptual physics at other schools. I really like our support structure in TFA. I feel like I would just be spinning my wheels if I didn't have someone on the outside to help me reflect and set out small specific goals to improve. The videotaping helped too. I was able to see some things I don't give myself enough credit for and some things I could be doing differently.

Two weeks ago was homecoming week. Everyone could dress up for whatever theme it was that day, but I was so consumed by what I had to get done every day that I didn't think to dress up. There weren't that many teachers that dressed up though, so I didn't stand out. The problem with homecoming week was that the students thought they shouldn't have to do any work that week, and all they did was gripe and complain when they were in my class. All I heard was: "This class is BORING". "I hate this class". "You do too much". "You stay doin too much". "I ain't doin this!" Needless to say, I had a lot of problems with my students that week. To compound that problem though, there have been so many faculty absences at my school that there are substitutes everywhere. And a lot of the time even if the teacher left work for them to do, the students refuse to do it and the sub can't/won't control them. They're leaving the class, roaming the halls, doing whatever they want to do. And there aren't enough principals or security around to make them at least stay in class because the principals have been gone to for various reasons. So substitute teachers and sub principals have not been getting the job done lately, and when the students come into my class they are enraged that they have to behave and do their work. I had to write referrals to the principal for half of one of my classes because they all came into class 15 minutes after their lunch was over. I had to throw out two students in one class because one has ADHD and is off his meds (his mother claims she can't afford them and can't get them through any programs) so he's running around the room blowing this whistle. The other has serious problems with authority and blows up every time I tell her to do something or stop talking.

Someone had the "brilliant" idea to have an hour-long pep rally across the street in the football stadium that Friday of homecoming week. There was apparently rumors of a gang fight that was going to happen around that time. The principal came into my classroom and gave my students a speech to tell them that if you go near a fight, you are implicated and will be thrown out of school until having a court hearing. The students were arguing with her and me about why they shouldn't join in a fight if their cousin (which everyone in the school are cousins of one another) is getting ganged on. It made me think how difficult it is to change these kids mindset they've grown up with. Their parents have told them to stick with their family no matter, which isn't a bad thing of itself. But the student's take it to the point that even if their family is involved in evil things they should still stick with them. And if it involves violence, you get them before they get you. I couldn't convince my students otherwise that day, but fortunately nothing happened at the pep rally. The low level of security that was there with the threat of a gang fight was still appalling to me.

That same week I broke up my first real fight. Two tiny girls almost got in a fight and I was holding them back, but this time two guys broke into a fight down the hall in front of another female TFA teacher who teaches right next to me. Granted the guys were pretty small even for high school freshmen. It was pretty nice to let out some energy and get some adrenaline pumping by yanking them off of each other.

Just last Thursday, my school decided to have another hall sweep where they have all teachers lock their doors when the late bell rings and we're not allowed to let any late students in because they get picked up and put in the cafeteria. Well, another TFA teacher who teaches a bunch of the same students I do overheard some kids yell to one of our students that they're gonna search him. So my TFA friend is suspicious and decides to try to discreetly get someone to his class to search this kid. He was thinking he probably has some drugs or something. First problem, after trying to call/email people in the building it takes like a half hour for someone to come to his room. Meanwhile, my friend is going on with his lesson. Finally, when an officer gets there to search the kid, they find a gun in his backpack. He said he was planning on trading it to a kid for an iPod. And the funny thing is that was probably what this kid was planning to do with it because he is that clueless. Second problem, it's crazy to think that a student had a gun on him all day and no one knew about it until the end of the day. At our meeting yesterday, they kind of addressed the situation and gave us a number we should call or text in that situation.

Well, I am very grateful for the break. We're going to Chicago tonight, and I've got tickets for the Bears game tomorrow. I've always wanted to see a Bears game at Soldier Field, and I'm really excited about the deep dish and the hot dogs.

I don't want to leave out everything that's going on with our church and going through the membership process, but we're about to go have lunch with a couple from our small group. I'll fill in that part later.

2 comments:

  1. You are the man Joey. Keep up the good work. It is funny that watching video of yourself makes you a better teacher. Kind of like rowing I guess. You the man.

    Waubin

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  2. Just like rowing. Except I'm not pausing and going frame by frame to watch how I write my T's on the whiteboard. Thanks Waubin. Good luck at the chuck.

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