I thought I would close out this blog after finishing my two-year teaching commitment at the end of May. It's been a great and relaxing summer with Mrs. K, and I'm sitting here getting ready to start packing up and move to a new city and new set of challenges.
I was prompted today to write in my blog because of a recent Onion article attacking Teach for America. A fellow corps member reacted to it on facebook, so I read it and found a few others that they wrote in previous years. I know that the Onion pokes fun to make some laughs, but it's definitely frustrating when they do it at the expense of twisting the truth and defaming one of the nation's best programs, in my opinion.
Since I've been in the program, I've experienced a large undercurrent of antagonism toward TFA that stems from a lot of misinformation, especially from traditionally educated teachers. And I feel like it's only going to bubble over more until people learn more about the program.
For example, this summer I've been helping a TFA alum, who has been serving on the senior leadership team for TFA for the past 12 years, campaign for the school board election in one of the districts in Nashville. One thing her opponents are spreading about her is that she'll fire all the traditional teachers and hire all TFA teachers when she is taking a leave of absence from her position with TFA while running and during her term if elected. Also, the district hires about 500 new teachers each year anyway, and TFA only makes up 100 of them, so TFA doesn't even have the capacity to do that.
In response to the complaints and claims against TFA, this is the way I see it:
Wouldn't it be great if a program like TFA could produce great teachers of whom 100% stay in the classroom and teach as their long-term career or make their commitment much longer? Yes!
Realistic? No. Even though many TFA teachers do remain in the classroom if not a few more years, for their entire career.
Do TFA teachers make an impact in two years? I believe so. The fact is, first year TFA teachers in Nashville outperform all other teachers from any other teaching program out there going by their students' standardized test scores. These are students from the same schools, and that fact doesn't even include the qualitative results that you see from TFA teachers. In my experience, I may not have achieved the same easily quantifiable results with my students, but my students have told me that they see the difference. One of the Onion articles has the fourth grader ask for a "real teacher", but most of my students have said that I was the closest to a "real teacher" they had. A "real teacher" is someone who doesn't give up on their kids no matter what. It is someone who always encourages their students to be their best and reach their potential. It is someone who sees past the surface of the student and sees more inside them than they can see for themselves. Not many teachers in underserved areas do that.
Don't we just need great teachers that stay in the classroom? No. Closing the Achievement Gap and thereby ending the cycle of generational poverty for so many kids requires work from all sectors: education, policy-making, health, business, law, and many others. And this is where the biggest misconception or lack of focus lies I think. TFA is not just a teacher training program, even though it produces as good or better teachers with just 5 weeks of training compared to some with 4 years of traditional training. TFA's mission is to close the achievement gap. Period. And teaching for at least two years working to close that gap in that specific way provides the best opportunity to change the trajectory of kids lives more immediately, but out of that also produces people who will want to devote their careers to ending educational inequity in whatever realm best suits them.
I have a hard time believing that anyone can complete two years of teaching with the sole motivation to pad their resume. It's a tough and thankless profession most of the time. There are probably some people who join TFA for the wrong reasons, and not every corps member is perfect or even stays the whole two years. But to focus on those things to paint such a negative picture just seems pathetic to me. Why not focus on the positive ways that TFA and TFA alums are transforming education across the country and making better opportunities for minority and low income children everywhere through all different sectors?
I joined TFA with the desire to pursue medicine afterward. Teaching was another career interest of mine, and I have wanted to serve those most in need since realizing that I was dead to God but made alive again through Christ. I was open to the possibility of teaching long-term, but I found that my interests and drive from my past experiences were in medicine. I poured everything I had into the kids I taught, and I know that they are better off because of it. After my experience, even though I'm going into medicine, I will continue to work for kids just like the ones I taught by providing better healthcare to them, and I will continue to be involved in closing the achievement gap in various ways.
This summer, I had the opportunity to do just that through working on a campaign for the school board election. I know that if this person is elected, she will lead the board to make the necessary decisions and actions to improve the education for all the students in Nashville. So I went to work canvassing the neighborhoods in the district going door-to-door telling people about her and why they should vote for her. I've probably knocked on over 1000 doors, and if she wins, I know my students will be better for it.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to stay in Nashville in order to continue working with the same people toward closing the achievement gap. I was not admitted to Vanderbilt, so I must go to Athens, GA for medical school at the new medical partnership between the Medical College of Georgia and UGA. I hope I can find similar work in Athens to stay involved in closing the achievement gap there in addition to medicine.
So this is the end of the Making Scientists at the Wood blog. Maybe I'll start a new blog while I'm in med school, or I'll just change this blog. God has been so good to us in Nashville blessing us with such great Christian fellowship and teaching. I've grown so much and I know I still have much more to grow. Please pray for us as we move to a new place in search for a new community of Christ-followers, as we seek to follow and serve Him and shine light in dark places, and especially as my wife and I are living in separate states for a few months while she finishes her requirements for a master's degree.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Long Overdue Update
I can’t believe it’s been this long since I’ve written anything. I’ve felt so jumbled in my thoughts and feelings sometimes that I knew I needed to write to make sense of things, but I never felt like I had the time.
Recently, I’ve been reflecting about my past two years of teaching. I don’t think I could do what I’m doing now much longer. I feel so overworked, exhausted, beat down, and even a little jaded. In no way do I regret my decision to teach in a low-income community. Sometimes I just wish my experience was a little different. I think I probably would have enjoyed this year more if I weren’t teaching three brand new subjects (Chemisty, Physics, and AP Chemistry) – neither of which I taught last year.
AP Chemistry is a beast by itself to plan for. I have one section that meets every day on a year-round class schedule. Normally, classes meet every other day for the whole year, but we need the extra time in AP Chem to get through all the material and do all the labs. I have to spend so much time making sure I know what I’m teaching because there are some really difficult concepts and math involved, and on top of that I have to plan and set up these college-level labs without a lab assistant since nobody took the job. I thought the extra time for my AP class was going to be great for preparing my kids for the AP exam, and it has been for the most part, but I didn’t foresee the downside that my kids would become sick of it really quick after so much work.
I started with a class of about 20, and you need 15 students registered for a class to keep from being eliminated. So I was trying to keep as many students as I could at the beginning. I lost three right away after they realized I really expected them to do their summer work before the 1st day of class and that they were going to fail if they didn’t do the assigned work. I lost one more before it evened out to 16 students. Even of those 16, about half openly told me that they didn’t want to take this class and they don’t want to take the AP test. I thought I could try really hard to win them over and make them see the benefit of the college credit. But the more I tried to help them and teach them the more they turned themselves off to me and fell further and further behind. I tried contacting parents even though many of the students at my school lack good parenting. I thought at least the best kids in the school in my AP class would have caring parents that have some control in their child’s life, but I could only get a hold of two. Either the number was wrong or no one picked up the phone. I had short periods of success with some of those kids where I got them to pay attention and do some work here and there, but it never stayed consistent. Now, 6 weeks until the end of the year, 4 weeks until the AP test, I’m standing in front of 16 students and 8 are actually listening to me on a good day. By now, the other half of the class has utterly given up. They just show up and put their heads down. They don’t do any work whatsoever, and they are failing miserably because of it. They have concluded that, “I don’t need this class to graduate and it’s boring,” therefore they are going to waste away 90 minutes of every day of their life until the end of the school year laying their heads down doing anything possible not to learn anything I teach. I’ve had one-on-one and whole class discussions when I’ve just been so frustrated that they can be so ignorant to waste away a free education on the basis that “I don’t need this class and it’s boring”. And it amazes me that some of the best students at my school don’t care that their GPA is going to tank if they fail my class.
On the bright side, the other 8 students are pretty good and really smart (all 16 are really smart, some just choose to use it). Some of them were still hesitant to take the AP test because they didn’t know if they would do well, but I’ve convinced most of the good half. I’m pretty much teaching to them every day, and it works out most of the time even though it still gets pretty frustrating to see that many heads down ignoring you. At least they’re not disruptive and trying to ruin the whole class, but it’s hard to keep their attitudes from poisoning others on a daily basis. I really think 6 of my students can score a 3 or higher. I’m going to work really hard until the test to try and make that happen. I hope those kids will work really hard too.
I also have two honors Chemistry classes and one regular Chemistry class. My honors classes are probably my favorite to teach. A large majority of those kids want to learn and do well. Even though they act up at times, they are driven to succeed. I’ve spent this year really pushing their thinking processes and trying to get them to think for themselves and make their own conclusions about things based on evidence. I have some of the same honors kids I had last year in biology for chemistry this year which has been fun being able to form stronger relationships with some kids.
My regular Chemistry class is a different story altogether. They are so much further behind cognitively that it’s a real struggle for me to teach them, let alone get them to think for themselves without being given the answer. Many of the same things I struggled with last year are very prevalent in this class with high absenteeism, low motivation, and a lack of resourcefulness.
Lastly, I teach one Physics class that has mostly seniors that need one more science and have no idea what physics is. Most of them have extremely low math skills (bad for physics). They are a good bunch of kids, and I look forward to that class most days that I have good plans made ahead of time.
The main problem is all the planning that I don’t have time for. I’ve had many days this year where I fell asleep the night before without finishing my plans and materials only to be saved by throwing something together during my 1st period planning time. In the beginning of the second semester, I missed several team meetings that are held during 1st period for my team of teachers in order to finish plans for the day’s upcoming classes. It’s frustrating that I didn’t get to use the plans I made last year at all, and I basically had to start all over as another 1st year teacher with even more planning than I had to do last year. This year, I’ve been so overwhelmed with just keeping my head above water in my planning and other administrative duties as a teacher that I haven’t been able to spend any energy on what I really want to do as a teacher. I want to be more involved in my students’ lives, do tons of ACT prep, help them apply to colleges, help them find jobs and internships, plan fun things for my classes to do so it’s not so mundane all the time, and build their character to be a more successful and happy person in the future. I feel like my circumstances this year have prevented me from being a great teacher and mentor. Since I haven’t been able to get much satisfaction from feeling like I’m really making a difference, the life is just being sucked right out of me, and I’ve been losing my motivation.
There are some good things about this year though. I was recently given an Excellence in Teaching Award from my principal. It’s always nice to be recognized. One of my students I had last year and have this year has started helping me get work done after school. We made an agreement that I would buy him food once a week for helping me out, and it’s been a great deal for me since he grades papers, organizes and cleans things, sometimes helps with lab setups, and does other small jobs. He also likes to hang around my room and talk with me and I give him a ride home almost every day. We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well, and I’m thinking about letting him buy my old car for as much as he can save when he gets his license. He wants to go to a military academy and become an engineer, and I hope I can help him do that. He is pretty bummed that I won’t be teaching next year.
I’m definitely going to medical school next year! Right now, I have to choose between Medical College of Georgia (cheaper) and University of Alabama at Birmingham (better research opportunities for Michelle). I’m also on the wait list at Vanderbilt, so if I am taken off of that, then we’ll definitely stay here. I would love to be able to still tutor and mentor a lot of my kids I’ve formed relationships with as I’m studying for med school.
6 more weeks until school is out!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Displacement (Part 2)
So quite a few things have happened since last week. Like I said in my last post, I had been displaced from my current school and I was going to a displaced teachers fair to try to find another place to teach for my second year with Teach for America. I was getting prepared in the beginning of the week to meet with principals on Wednesday. I was even applying outside of the school system to a couple charter schools with the help of friends that already teach there.
Wednesday after school. I've got my suit in my car. I'm making copies of my resume in my principal's office, and I'm ready to go get hired by a good school. My principal comes out of her office to hand me her letter of recommendation for me, and somehow it comes up that I'm certified to teach physics and chemistry. She looks surprised and she says, "Well this changes things. We have an opening for physics and chemistry here, and I didn't know you were certified to teach those subjects."
When I took the necessary tests to be certified to teach physics, I sent a score report to the Department of Education, but apparently they are really slow at adding those qualifications to the online database that principals use to get information on a teacher's licensure/certifications, so my physics certification did not show up. My principal told me to contact our district supervisor to see if they could keep me on as a physics/chem teacher.
Nothing was definitive by the time I arrived at the displaced hiring fair, so I was still in interview mode looking for schools I would want to work at. But the district supervisor told me to bring a copy of my score report and show it to her right away since she would be at the hiring fair. So after I signed up for interview slots, I showed my score report to her and she took me out of the room while grabbing another district official. She asked the other district guy whether they would be able to keep me, and he said it looked like it would work out to him.
Everyone was so excited about it. The district supervisor said, "We've got someone that the school wants, and he wants to be at the school, so we're really happy about it. You want to be at the school, right?" And that's where I felt like the only possibility of me ending up at a better school environment was going to end. I nodded in a kind of unassertive way because I wouldn't necessarily say I "want" to be there other than I know the kids need me there. Like I said earlier, I was kind of looking forward to finding a better place to work and maybe make a greater impact on my students at another school.
So they took me off the displaced list and told me to go home early, and that's what I did. I was relieved in a way because I knew I had a position somewhere, but I still had a lot of questions - questions I still haven't gotten the answer to. My principal told me that I would most likely be teaching chemistry and physics, but she would love for me to still teach biology. So I'm looking at a possible 3 preps (3 different classes to plan for at the same time). I could be getting a new, better science room with more lab space since I would be taking over the physics/chem teacher's room that is leaving. But all these things are still very much up in the air in this school system because teachers will hold onto their positions until the last minute and then quit, and things will shift around. Schedules aren't completed until about a week before school starts back, so I'm left with a lot of uncertainty.
Interestingly, another option opened up the next morning. I mentioned I applied to a couple charter schools when I was still on the displaced list. Thursday morning I got an email back from the school director of one of those charter schools to ask me when I was available for a phone call. I spoke with the school director on the phone and lined up a time when I could come teach a lesson at their school. They seem to be interested in offering me a position to teach 9th grade Biology (and only Biology) for next year.
I am really excited about the prospect of teaching Biology, which I like to teach most out of any science, at a great school that is smaller with better support at every level. And it still serves a similar population of students as the one I teach now.
So now I'm in a much different, but better, position than the one I was in last week. I went from having no choice and just hoping I'd end up somewhere to having the choice where I can teach next year. However, I haven't been officially offered the position at the charter school just yet. I still have to impress them with a sample lesson this week. But if I do end up with that option, I'm having a tough time making up my mind about it. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure I'd be much happier at the charter school. There are many more pros than there are cons. On the other hand, I don't want my decision to be about me and my happiness. I want it to be more about the kids. That's why I started teaching in the first place. I think about the alternative to me teaching at The Wood, and how someone else could really fail those kids. I think about the students I'd like to see grow up a little more next year and go on to do bigger and better things. But I also think about the difficulties I would face there with all the uncertainty about my schedule, the administration, the unknown new executive principal. Reflecting on this past year, I don't know how effective I can be if I'm not happy or hate coming in to school every morning. That's why I think that considering my well-being actually does impact the kids that I end up teaching. I'm still not sure what I'm going to decide if I have to make the decision, but the good news is, I'll be teaching somewhere!
Wednesday after school. I've got my suit in my car. I'm making copies of my resume in my principal's office, and I'm ready to go get hired by a good school. My principal comes out of her office to hand me her letter of recommendation for me, and somehow it comes up that I'm certified to teach physics and chemistry. She looks surprised and she says, "Well this changes things. We have an opening for physics and chemistry here, and I didn't know you were certified to teach those subjects."
When I took the necessary tests to be certified to teach physics, I sent a score report to the Department of Education, but apparently they are really slow at adding those qualifications to the online database that principals use to get information on a teacher's licensure/certifications, so my physics certification did not show up. My principal told me to contact our district supervisor to see if they could keep me on as a physics/chem teacher.
Nothing was definitive by the time I arrived at the displaced hiring fair, so I was still in interview mode looking for schools I would want to work at. But the district supervisor told me to bring a copy of my score report and show it to her right away since she would be at the hiring fair. So after I signed up for interview slots, I showed my score report to her and she took me out of the room while grabbing another district official. She asked the other district guy whether they would be able to keep me, and he said it looked like it would work out to him.
Everyone was so excited about it. The district supervisor said, "We've got someone that the school wants, and he wants to be at the school, so we're really happy about it. You want to be at the school, right?" And that's where I felt like the only possibility of me ending up at a better school environment was going to end. I nodded in a kind of unassertive way because I wouldn't necessarily say I "want" to be there other than I know the kids need me there. Like I said earlier, I was kind of looking forward to finding a better place to work and maybe make a greater impact on my students at another school.
So they took me off the displaced list and told me to go home early, and that's what I did. I was relieved in a way because I knew I had a position somewhere, but I still had a lot of questions - questions I still haven't gotten the answer to. My principal told me that I would most likely be teaching chemistry and physics, but she would love for me to still teach biology. So I'm looking at a possible 3 preps (3 different classes to plan for at the same time). I could be getting a new, better science room with more lab space since I would be taking over the physics/chem teacher's room that is leaving. But all these things are still very much up in the air in this school system because teachers will hold onto their positions until the last minute and then quit, and things will shift around. Schedules aren't completed until about a week before school starts back, so I'm left with a lot of uncertainty.
Interestingly, another option opened up the next morning. I mentioned I applied to a couple charter schools when I was still on the displaced list. Thursday morning I got an email back from the school director of one of those charter schools to ask me when I was available for a phone call. I spoke with the school director on the phone and lined up a time when I could come teach a lesson at their school. They seem to be interested in offering me a position to teach 9th grade Biology (and only Biology) for next year.
I am really excited about the prospect of teaching Biology, which I like to teach most out of any science, at a great school that is smaller with better support at every level. And it still serves a similar population of students as the one I teach now.
So now I'm in a much different, but better, position than the one I was in last week. I went from having no choice and just hoping I'd end up somewhere to having the choice where I can teach next year. However, I haven't been officially offered the position at the charter school just yet. I still have to impress them with a sample lesson this week. But if I do end up with that option, I'm having a tough time making up my mind about it. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure I'd be much happier at the charter school. There are many more pros than there are cons. On the other hand, I don't want my decision to be about me and my happiness. I want it to be more about the kids. That's why I started teaching in the first place. I think about the alternative to me teaching at The Wood, and how someone else could really fail those kids. I think about the students I'd like to see grow up a little more next year and go on to do bigger and better things. But I also think about the difficulties I would face there with all the uncertainty about my schedule, the administration, the unknown new executive principal. Reflecting on this past year, I don't know how effective I can be if I'm not happy or hate coming in to school every morning. That's why I think that considering my well-being actually does impact the kids that I end up teaching. I'm still not sure what I'm going to decide if I have to make the decision, but the good news is, I'll be teaching somewhere!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Displacement
I teach my Physics students that displacement is the straight-line distance between two points. After this Friday, another definition of the word displacement was made real to me. I received a call in my classroom toward the end of the day when my students were finishing up their work. "You're needed in the main office. Another teacher is coming to watch your students so you can come down." I felt a little worried about what it could be about. Earlier that day, the stand-in principal interrogated me after hearing from one of my students that I was giving my final a week earlier than the last week of school when the district schedules finals. I convinced her that this was just another exam, and I'm still giving them their final on the scheduled date. (I will give them a "final" test on the prescribed date in the last week of school, but it's going to be something easy since I'm giving their real final the week before because I want my students to see/respond/celebrate their results). I thought maybe she wasn't convinced and wanted to chew me out for breaking a stupid rule. But I quickly found out this wasn't the case.
My supervising assistant principal was in the office with the stand-in executive principal, and they started off with, "You know with the loss of federal funding and the budget cuts the district has made, every school has to severely reduce the number of teachers." I knew what they were talking about, of course. There had been a lot of buzz for the past few months about the coming reductions, but I thought I was immune somehow. I was told that reductions like this happen about every year. Based on projected enrollment for the following year, teachers are kind of shuffled around the district to meet the subject area needs. As a Teach for America teacher that is producing the best results out of any science teacher at the school, I thought I would be one of the last teachers to go. I also thought my 2-yr contract with TFA might keep me at the same school for those 2 yrs at least. I found I was mistaken though when they told me, "Based on seniority, you're being displaced. You'll need to attend the displaced teachers fair next Wednesday to look for a position at another school."
I was kind of caught off guard. A ton of questions began pouring into my head with mixed feelings. Initially, I took it as if I were being fired, and I felt like my principal was telling me that I wasn't good enough and wanted me to go. Even though I was suspicious at the time, she told me that purely based on seniority, they were asked by the district to cut a certain number of teachers per subject area (18 total). And I believe her. I don't think she really wanted to let me go. She's always been very encouraging and impressed with my work this year. However, I can actually see a lot of good that can come out of this for me. There were many points throughout the year where I wished I were somewhere else. I definitely did not have a very pleasant year, and situations at the school only seem to be getting worse. I might be able to take advantage of this opportunity and find a good school where I can be better supported to make a greater impact on students. But the more I've thought about the consequences of my displacement and what it means for my kids at this school, I've felt more sad about missing out on seeing how my students grow next year.
I feel sad that the students at this school might be failed next year by getting a tenured science teacher that doesn't care whether their students go on to do great things as long as they get paid. The two students that I helped get into the St. Thomas Science Scholars Program next year won't have me directly available to guide them to help make their opportunity valuable and beneficial for them, and I won't get to talk to them about their experiences through the program. Even though I've been hard on myself and I know that this year could have been done so much better if I was more experienced, I'm aware now more than ever before that the fact is: the alternative to me is most likely much worse. I'm sad for the students next year that might end up with a paycheck teacher.
I don't really know if they'll be getting any new science teachers though since this isn't really a replacement but a staff reduction. But the other freshman science teacher is voluntarily leaving, so I don't know how they're going to manage that. Supposedly to save money, they are going to reduce the number of teachers at each school according to the projected enrollment for next year. Some will be the first to be hired at other schools where they have openings, but I'm assuming some will not have a position next year since the whole point is to not pay as many teachers. With TFA though, I have other options outside of the district to look into, so I'm not really worried about not being hired. And if I don't, then I'll be a lab tech or work in a hospital. But obviously, while I'm in TFA I want to serve my purpose which is to provide a transformational education for my students.
I'm very confused about this process and why the district does things like this as you may be too reading this. One result of this process is that class sizes across the district are going to sky-rocket from 25 to like 40. Some schools will be affected more than others probably, and my current school will probably get the shaft like it usually has in the past as I've learned. Another consequence I see is the inconsistency among teachers in schools that this upholds within the district. If they do this every year, how are we supposed to foster "small learning communities" that the district is pushing where teachers form relationships with their students and follow them through their 4 years of high school. It keeps different teachers moving in and out, and with a population that my school serves, consistency and continuity are really important for these kids to feel valued because they don't ever have consistency or continuity at home.
I'm not really sure if this happens, but I bet these displacements can also be used by principals to get rid of teachers that they don't want to a certain extent. The movie, Waiting for Superman, called it the "Dance of the Lemons". Since the tenured or professional licensed teachers are pretty much guaranteed a job after being displaced, one school will pass their lemons on to another school and vice versa. But if that's happening at my school, there's a very obvious lemon that teaches down the hall from me that's not being displaced to my knowledge. I think this is one of the most frustrating things. The teacher that passes all his kids no matter the amount of work they do let alone mastering the content; the teacher that is always late in the morning and leaves his students waiting outside his locked classroom door; the teacher that I routinely see roaming the hallways during his class leaving his students unsupervised; this teacher is staying at the school because he has tenure and seniority while I'm leaving.
I'll definitely update when I find out anything about my next placement. I'm hopeful that I can find a better place that I might enjoy a little more. I'm going to a displaced teachers fair this coming Wednesday to interview with principals, so pray that I'll hit it off with the right person and that it'll be a place I can be happier. What's funny is that I think I'm one of maybe 2 or 3 TFA teachers that are being displaced. I was told by other TFA corps members that their principals are under the assumption that TFA teachers can't be displaced. I guess my school isn't under that assumption.
By the way, I mentioned earlier the "stand-in" principal for my school. Let me explain that. My executive principal was basically terminated a couple weeks ago after an incident where she was accused of hitting a girl on the head with a water bottle while trying to break up a fight. Yeah, crazy stuff happens here. So the PE teacher's mother came in to replace her for the time being. So she is the stand-in principal. I have no idea what's going to happen at this school for next year.
My supervising assistant principal was in the office with the stand-in executive principal, and they started off with, "You know with the loss of federal funding and the budget cuts the district has made, every school has to severely reduce the number of teachers." I knew what they were talking about, of course. There had been a lot of buzz for the past few months about the coming reductions, but I thought I was immune somehow. I was told that reductions like this happen about every year. Based on projected enrollment for the following year, teachers are kind of shuffled around the district to meet the subject area needs. As a Teach for America teacher that is producing the best results out of any science teacher at the school, I thought I would be one of the last teachers to go. I also thought my 2-yr contract with TFA might keep me at the same school for those 2 yrs at least. I found I was mistaken though when they told me, "Based on seniority, you're being displaced. You'll need to attend the displaced teachers fair next Wednesday to look for a position at another school."
I was kind of caught off guard. A ton of questions began pouring into my head with mixed feelings. Initially, I took it as if I were being fired, and I felt like my principal was telling me that I wasn't good enough and wanted me to go. Even though I was suspicious at the time, she told me that purely based on seniority, they were asked by the district to cut a certain number of teachers per subject area (18 total). And I believe her. I don't think she really wanted to let me go. She's always been very encouraging and impressed with my work this year. However, I can actually see a lot of good that can come out of this for me. There were many points throughout the year where I wished I were somewhere else. I definitely did not have a very pleasant year, and situations at the school only seem to be getting worse. I might be able to take advantage of this opportunity and find a good school where I can be better supported to make a greater impact on students. But the more I've thought about the consequences of my displacement and what it means for my kids at this school, I've felt more sad about missing out on seeing how my students grow next year.
I feel sad that the students at this school might be failed next year by getting a tenured science teacher that doesn't care whether their students go on to do great things as long as they get paid. The two students that I helped get into the St. Thomas Science Scholars Program next year won't have me directly available to guide them to help make their opportunity valuable and beneficial for them, and I won't get to talk to them about their experiences through the program. Even though I've been hard on myself and I know that this year could have been done so much better if I was more experienced, I'm aware now more than ever before that the fact is: the alternative to me is most likely much worse. I'm sad for the students next year that might end up with a paycheck teacher.
I don't really know if they'll be getting any new science teachers though since this isn't really a replacement but a staff reduction. But the other freshman science teacher is voluntarily leaving, so I don't know how they're going to manage that. Supposedly to save money, they are going to reduce the number of teachers at each school according to the projected enrollment for next year. Some will be the first to be hired at other schools where they have openings, but I'm assuming some will not have a position next year since the whole point is to not pay as many teachers. With TFA though, I have other options outside of the district to look into, so I'm not really worried about not being hired. And if I don't, then I'll be a lab tech or work in a hospital. But obviously, while I'm in TFA I want to serve my purpose which is to provide a transformational education for my students.
I'm very confused about this process and why the district does things like this as you may be too reading this. One result of this process is that class sizes across the district are going to sky-rocket from 25 to like 40. Some schools will be affected more than others probably, and my current school will probably get the shaft like it usually has in the past as I've learned. Another consequence I see is the inconsistency among teachers in schools that this upholds within the district. If they do this every year, how are we supposed to foster "small learning communities" that the district is pushing where teachers form relationships with their students and follow them through their 4 years of high school. It keeps different teachers moving in and out, and with a population that my school serves, consistency and continuity are really important for these kids to feel valued because they don't ever have consistency or continuity at home.
I'm not really sure if this happens, but I bet these displacements can also be used by principals to get rid of teachers that they don't want to a certain extent. The movie, Waiting for Superman, called it the "Dance of the Lemons". Since the tenured or professional licensed teachers are pretty much guaranteed a job after being displaced, one school will pass their lemons on to another school and vice versa. But if that's happening at my school, there's a very obvious lemon that teaches down the hall from me that's not being displaced to my knowledge. I think this is one of the most frustrating things. The teacher that passes all his kids no matter the amount of work they do let alone mastering the content; the teacher that is always late in the morning and leaves his students waiting outside his locked classroom door; the teacher that I routinely see roaming the hallways during his class leaving his students unsupervised; this teacher is staying at the school because he has tenure and seniority while I'm leaving.
I'll definitely update when I find out anything about my next placement. I'm hopeful that I can find a better place that I might enjoy a little more. I'm going to a displaced teachers fair this coming Wednesday to interview with principals, so pray that I'll hit it off with the right person and that it'll be a place I can be happier. What's funny is that I think I'm one of maybe 2 or 3 TFA teachers that are being displaced. I was told by other TFA corps members that their principals are under the assumption that TFA teachers can't be displaced. I guess my school isn't under that assumption.
By the way, I mentioned earlier the "stand-in" principal for my school. Let me explain that. My executive principal was basically terminated a couple weeks ago after an incident where she was accused of hitting a girl on the head with a water bottle while trying to break up a fight. Yeah, crazy stuff happens here. So the PE teacher's mother came in to replace her for the time being. So she is the stand-in principal. I have no idea what's going to happen at this school for next year.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Almost there
It certainly has been much longer than I wanted since my last post. I think this is because the time from my last post until now has been my longest stretch without any kind of break in the school schedule (minus Good Friday) plus it was the final stretch before the big EOC. The past 7 weeks have been very tiresome and a struggle to get through. In fact, as the lack of sleep began to really wear on me last week, I couldn't resist taking a nap in my underwear on the couch when I got home around 4. I was interrupted when my wife came home with an unexpected friend, so I put pants on but just got in bed and slept until 5am the next morning. I'm more rested now, and I only have about 3 more weeks of school left!
So last Thursday my Biology students took their EOC test, and I got mixed feedback about how they think they did. I haven't seen the test, but hopefully results will come in within a couple weeks. I'm fairly optimistic though. They took a predictor test back in March before I had covered all the material and about 68% of my students scored proficient or advanced. This was HUGE to me and my class since last year only 11% scored proficient or advanced on the EOC at my school. I gave them a practice EOC about 2 weeks before their actual test date, and 100% of them scored proficient or advanced! I was really excited about this, and I think that gave my students a lot of confidence. The morning of the test, I gave them cookies that Mrs. K baked and added a personalized note to each student to give them a last bit of encouragement before the test. Many of them said that it was more difficult than the practice test, but everything else that led up to the test makes me confident that we'll be happy with the results.
My other 5 classes of Conceptual Physics do not have an state-made EOC, so I have a little more time with them to get them ready for the final assessment that I've made. With the extra time, I was able to do a really fun lab activity with them. I got equipment over the summer to make 2 liter bottles into bottle rockets and shoot them over 50 feet in the air. We learned about free fall and projectile motion so we could calculate how high each rocket flew in the air. I had the students bring in 2 liter bottles so each student could make a rocket with a partner. I had them make nose cones and wings or fins out of card stock, then we filled them up halfway with water, pumped in some air to build pressure, and let it fly outside. Here's a video my fellow freshman science teacher took during his planning time. I have pictures too, but I guess I shouldn't put them up here since they have the students' faces in them. I upgraded to the iPhone 4 not too long before this, so I was excited to use it.
I was freaking out while I was planning this because I didn't know how the kids would act if I took them outside. I had to come up with all these extra alternate plans if the kids didn't want to cooperate. I contracted other teachers during their planning to hold students that didn't follow expectations and also be extra eyes while I had them outside. Fortunately and surprisingly, I only had to send one kid to another room. The rest of them were not unmanageable because, for the most part, I think most of them were really interested and engaged. They wanted their rocket to go the highest.
These two days were probably the most fun I've had at school. I wish I could do that kind of stuff all the time. And the frustrating part is if I had the resources and knew how to use them to teach, I could probably do way more stuff like that, and my kids and I would have much more fun.
Other good news:
I had two of my biology students apply to the St. Thomas Hospital Science Scholars program where they had to write an essay and I had to write a recommendation a couple months ago, and they both were accepted! They'll get to shadow doctors for six Saturdays next year and participate in lab experiences with other high achieving kids across the region. They even get their own lab coats to wear around the hospital.
I think the challenge for last few weeks of school is to gather enough motivation and get the kids motivated to focus and learn even after taking all their EOC tests last week. It's kind of weird to me that their final test essentially is given almost a month before school lets out. It leaves us with a lot of freedom the month after the test, but I think the students are going to be even less willing to do any kind of work. I'm planning to do more fun things with my biology class like dissections and good science movies, but I'm not finished with my Conceptual Physics classes, so we'll see how that goes. Either way, I can't believe I'm almost done with my 1st year of teaching. I just need to make it until then.
So last Thursday my Biology students took their EOC test, and I got mixed feedback about how they think they did. I haven't seen the test, but hopefully results will come in within a couple weeks. I'm fairly optimistic though. They took a predictor test back in March before I had covered all the material and about 68% of my students scored proficient or advanced. This was HUGE to me and my class since last year only 11% scored proficient or advanced on the EOC at my school. I gave them a practice EOC about 2 weeks before their actual test date, and 100% of them scored proficient or advanced! I was really excited about this, and I think that gave my students a lot of confidence. The morning of the test, I gave them cookies that Mrs. K baked and added a personalized note to each student to give them a last bit of encouragement before the test. Many of them said that it was more difficult than the practice test, but everything else that led up to the test makes me confident that we'll be happy with the results.
My other 5 classes of Conceptual Physics do not have an state-made EOC, so I have a little more time with them to get them ready for the final assessment that I've made. With the extra time, I was able to do a really fun lab activity with them. I got equipment over the summer to make 2 liter bottles into bottle rockets and shoot them over 50 feet in the air. We learned about free fall and projectile motion so we could calculate how high each rocket flew in the air. I had the students bring in 2 liter bottles so each student could make a rocket with a partner. I had them make nose cones and wings or fins out of card stock, then we filled them up halfway with water, pumped in some air to build pressure, and let it fly outside. Here's a video my fellow freshman science teacher took during his planning time. I have pictures too, but I guess I shouldn't put them up here since they have the students' faces in them. I upgraded to the iPhone 4 not too long before this, so I was excited to use it.
I was freaking out while I was planning this because I didn't know how the kids would act if I took them outside. I had to come up with all these extra alternate plans if the kids didn't want to cooperate. I contracted other teachers during their planning to hold students that didn't follow expectations and also be extra eyes while I had them outside. Fortunately and surprisingly, I only had to send one kid to another room. The rest of them were not unmanageable because, for the most part, I think most of them were really interested and engaged. They wanted their rocket to go the highest.
These two days were probably the most fun I've had at school. I wish I could do that kind of stuff all the time. And the frustrating part is if I had the resources and knew how to use them to teach, I could probably do way more stuff like that, and my kids and I would have much more fun.
Other good news:
I had two of my biology students apply to the St. Thomas Hospital Science Scholars program where they had to write an essay and I had to write a recommendation a couple months ago, and they both were accepted! They'll get to shadow doctors for six Saturdays next year and participate in lab experiences with other high achieving kids across the region. They even get their own lab coats to wear around the hospital.
I think the challenge for last few weeks of school is to gather enough motivation and get the kids motivated to focus and learn even after taking all their EOC tests last week. It's kind of weird to me that their final test essentially is given almost a month before school lets out. It leaves us with a lot of freedom the month after the test, but I think the students are going to be even less willing to do any kind of work. I'm planning to do more fun things with my biology class like dissections and good science movies, but I'm not finished with my Conceptual Physics classes, so we'll see how that goes. Either way, I can't believe I'm almost done with my 1st year of teaching. I just need to make it until then.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Harry Potter and the Reasons I Teach
Well Spring Break is slowly coming to an end this weekend :( I think it was a good break though. Mrs. K and I were able to head back to Atlanta and see family and friends for a few days even though our primary reason for being there was for her great aunt's funeral. But since we got back to Nashville Wednesday morning, I've felt like the days have slipped by. Although, I've been enjoying my time off not doing anything work-related. I've been reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire which was next in line since I started reading the series over Thanksgiving break. I just need to finish it now so I can start getting some work done! I'd like to be somewhat productive before school starts back so this next week can be a little more bearable. If I can get ahead by planning a few lessons and getting some grading done, then it'll be a little easier to get out of bed Monday morning.
I was having a rough couple of weeks around the time of my last post, but I'd like to share an encouraging moment that helped lift my spirits and get me to spring break. On March 3, the freshman academy of our high school held a parent meeting to inform parents about things they need to know as well as show and tell a little about what has been going on in their kids' classrooms. So we had a student of ours stand up and talk to all the parents about what he's been learning and doing in his classes. When he finished speaking about my class (his Biology class) I was very impressed with the amount he learned in our previous unit on genetics. He went on and on about the projects we did, and what he learned from them (more than he talked about his other classes, but I shouldn't compare). The other teachers and people who were there were also impressed with his description of my class, and I got a lot of positive feedback from other teachers afterwards. That along with some other blessings God placed in my way helped me see some of the fruits of my labor.
As I approach the last 9 weeks of my first year of teaching (which feels like less with the oh so definitive EOC only 7 weeks away) I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my experience. I guess my reflection is also partly due to the personal statement I need to write for my med school applications. I've been thinking about the reasons I joined TFA, and I realized when I was revisiting college friends that I don't think I message those reasons very well. Instead, most people hear the extremely tough time I'm having and figure my life just sucks right now.
However, I've reminded myself that I chose this suffering. I wasn't totally clueless that this was going to be really hard (even though I think my training could have been a little more honest and less idealistic). And I'm not doing it for the pure social justice of it all. I do this because I'm called to love others, especially the poor and marginalized of our society, along with all other Christians. I believe that my life is not my own, and it brings me great joy to know that my suffering while I serve glorifies God. He has really worked on my heart this year to realize this great joy, and to be satisfied with only serving Him. I feel like this experience has and will be necessary for me to approach my medical career in the same light.
Now is my call to love others in my profession specifically in teaching? I don't think it really matters. But in my opinion, I still feel like my skills and knowledge are best applied in a medical profession. I am very frustrated with the current state of education, and I'm working in a broken system. I'm also frustrated with my seeming lack of ability to make lessons fun and exciting because science is just interesting and exciting to me without any extra bells and whistles. I'm not saying that I won't be frustrated with the broken healthcare system, but which one will I be able to live and work within the best?
Don't get me wrong. I believe in the Teach for America movement. I have been convinced according to the data I've seen that the teacher in front of the classroom is the single most determining factor in a child's education. More determining than the school and the district. So by putting great teachers in poorly achieving schools, this is where the most impact can be made on individual students and on closing the achievement gap. The hope is to one day, have enough of these great teachers to make more great schools because success rate flies through the roof once you have great teachers in great schools. And ultimately, education is the best way to break the cycle of poverty in many of these communities.
The reason I don't think I want to stay teaching is that I don't think I can take the mental and psychological stress that it comes with. I don't find much passion on a daily basis to come up with ways to teach things in the best way for my students. My passion comes from a much deeper love for others and desire to follow God, but it is distant from teaching specifically. I hope that I can pair my passion to follow God with my passion for medicine and healing people to keep me going on a daily basis.
But most importantly, I am completely content with where I am now. My life is honestly very good right now even during school weeks. I have a wonderful wife, two pets, and I have a great church family in a wonderful city.
I'd like to post about discussions I've had recently on the balance or extent Christians should live in community with those in need to love them better while also loving and protecting your family. But I think this post is getting kind of long, so I'll save that for a later post (hopefully soon). I also need to get back and finish this Harry Potter book so I can move on with my life.
I was having a rough couple of weeks around the time of my last post, but I'd like to share an encouraging moment that helped lift my spirits and get me to spring break. On March 3, the freshman academy of our high school held a parent meeting to inform parents about things they need to know as well as show and tell a little about what has been going on in their kids' classrooms. So we had a student of ours stand up and talk to all the parents about what he's been learning and doing in his classes. When he finished speaking about my class (his Biology class) I was very impressed with the amount he learned in our previous unit on genetics. He went on and on about the projects we did, and what he learned from them (more than he talked about his other classes, but I shouldn't compare). The other teachers and people who were there were also impressed with his description of my class, and I got a lot of positive feedback from other teachers afterwards. That along with some other blessings God placed in my way helped me see some of the fruits of my labor.
As I approach the last 9 weeks of my first year of teaching (which feels like less with the oh so definitive EOC only 7 weeks away) I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my experience. I guess my reflection is also partly due to the personal statement I need to write for my med school applications. I've been thinking about the reasons I joined TFA, and I realized when I was revisiting college friends that I don't think I message those reasons very well. Instead, most people hear the extremely tough time I'm having and figure my life just sucks right now.
However, I've reminded myself that I chose this suffering. I wasn't totally clueless that this was going to be really hard (even though I think my training could have been a little more honest and less idealistic). And I'm not doing it for the pure social justice of it all. I do this because I'm called to love others, especially the poor and marginalized of our society, along with all other Christians. I believe that my life is not my own, and it brings me great joy to know that my suffering while I serve glorifies God. He has really worked on my heart this year to realize this great joy, and to be satisfied with only serving Him. I feel like this experience has and will be necessary for me to approach my medical career in the same light.
Now is my call to love others in my profession specifically in teaching? I don't think it really matters. But in my opinion, I still feel like my skills and knowledge are best applied in a medical profession. I am very frustrated with the current state of education, and I'm working in a broken system. I'm also frustrated with my seeming lack of ability to make lessons fun and exciting because science is just interesting and exciting to me without any extra bells and whistles. I'm not saying that I won't be frustrated with the broken healthcare system, but which one will I be able to live and work within the best?
Don't get me wrong. I believe in the Teach for America movement. I have been convinced according to the data I've seen that the teacher in front of the classroom is the single most determining factor in a child's education. More determining than the school and the district. So by putting great teachers in poorly achieving schools, this is where the most impact can be made on individual students and on closing the achievement gap. The hope is to one day, have enough of these great teachers to make more great schools because success rate flies through the roof once you have great teachers in great schools. And ultimately, education is the best way to break the cycle of poverty in many of these communities.
The reason I don't think I want to stay teaching is that I don't think I can take the mental and psychological stress that it comes with. I don't find much passion on a daily basis to come up with ways to teach things in the best way for my students. My passion comes from a much deeper love for others and desire to follow God, but it is distant from teaching specifically. I hope that I can pair my passion to follow God with my passion for medicine and healing people to keep me going on a daily basis.
But most importantly, I am completely content with where I am now. My life is honestly very good right now even during school weeks. I have a wonderful wife, two pets, and I have a great church family in a wonderful city.
I'd like to post about discussions I've had recently on the balance or extent Christians should live in community with those in need to love them better while also loving and protecting your family. But I think this post is getting kind of long, so I'll save that for a later post (hopefully soon). I also need to get back and finish this Harry Potter book so I can move on with my life.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Today was a mess
This is what I wrote today after school to relieve some stress. I figured I'd share it since I haven't posted in a while. It's pretty rough right now. I don't know why, but I'm sure the recent elevation in temp in my room to 90-100 degrees isn't helping.
Why do I feel like so many of my students hate me? Why does it bother me so much when a student tells me that I'm going to get fired because they think I'm unfair? That should make me laugh at how ridiculous that sounds like they have the power to get me fired. It bothers me when my students tell me I'm a bad teacher. They say they haven't learned anything, and it's probably true for some of them but it's not because I'm not teaching. It's because they're refusing to learn. They say that my job is to deal with their behavior and somehow magically lasso everyone into a glittery, confetti filled spectacle of a class. They place no blame on themselves for their failures or consequences they receive. All I get is attitude all day long. Student after student mad at me for some reason and trying to argue with me about writing them up or calling home. They don't want to listen. It's their way or they give up or run away. A student actually said I was lucky that they came to my class today at all after I asked her to put away her headphones and hoodie. HA! Like I would go home and cry if she didn't come to my class. Oh it would really hurt my feelings. All I did was ask her to take her hoodie and headphones off, and I get that back. And I ask the students in a fairly nice way. Much less belittling or angry than other teachers that I hear. I can't teach anymore when I know for a fact that maybe one person in the room is actually listening to me. All the others are either talking or their heads are down. Isn't this supposed to only happen in November? My biology class was chaos today. I only got through half of the lesson I planned. And I spent a long time on it. Even when some kids were interested I had questions coming at me all over (some probably just to throw me off so I couldn't teach) and I couldn't hear people because everyone else thinks its free time when other students ask questions. I just have students interrupt me mid-sentence and they think thats ok! Their question about something totally unrelated is way more important than what I'm teaching like what their grade is or if they can get their make-up work after being absent 5 days in a row or what time my class ends. I give up! I want to give up so much! I just feel spent and I dread knowing that another day with those kids is only a day away. Now I'm losing the first monday of spring break. I don't know how I'm going to survive. Don't worry, I'm being intentionally melodramatic. It makes me feel better.
Why do I feel like so many of my students hate me? Why does it bother me so much when a student tells me that I'm going to get fired because they think I'm unfair? That should make me laugh at how ridiculous that sounds like they have the power to get me fired. It bothers me when my students tell me I'm a bad teacher. They say they haven't learned anything, and it's probably true for some of them but it's not because I'm not teaching. It's because they're refusing to learn. They say that my job is to deal with their behavior and somehow magically lasso everyone into a glittery, confetti filled spectacle of a class. They place no blame on themselves for their failures or consequences they receive. All I get is attitude all day long. Student after student mad at me for some reason and trying to argue with me about writing them up or calling home. They don't want to listen. It's their way or they give up or run away. A student actually said I was lucky that they came to my class today at all after I asked her to put away her headphones and hoodie. HA! Like I would go home and cry if she didn't come to my class. Oh it would really hurt my feelings. All I did was ask her to take her hoodie and headphones off, and I get that back. And I ask the students in a fairly nice way. Much less belittling or angry than other teachers that I hear. I can't teach anymore when I know for a fact that maybe one person in the room is actually listening to me. All the others are either talking or their heads are down. Isn't this supposed to only happen in November? My biology class was chaos today. I only got through half of the lesson I planned. And I spent a long time on it. Even when some kids were interested I had questions coming at me all over (some probably just to throw me off so I couldn't teach) and I couldn't hear people because everyone else thinks its free time when other students ask questions. I just have students interrupt me mid-sentence and they think thats ok! Their question about something totally unrelated is way more important than what I'm teaching like what their grade is or if they can get their make-up work after being absent 5 days in a row or what time my class ends. I give up! I want to give up so much! I just feel spent and I dread knowing that another day with those kids is only a day away. Now I'm losing the first monday of spring break. I don't know how I'm going to survive. Don't worry, I'm being intentionally melodramatic. It makes me feel better.
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